Although my schoolwork and education have had enormous impacts on my growing up and creating who I am, they have never been my main focus. I think because I am an only child, I form the kind of bonds that others form with their siblings with my friends; therefore, my friends and the experiences I’ve had with them are the most important memories and growing experiences to me. It has been through my interactions with those close to me that I have learned not only how to care for others, but how to care for myself.
My junior year of high school was a huge transitional time for me. I had to figure out who I was, figure out who I wanted to be, and figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Because all of my friends were doing the same alongside me, it was a time during which we all went through many struggles both on our own and with each other. My best friend at the time, Hana, had a particularly rough patch when she broke up with her boyfriend because she realized she was in love with her best friend. Hana is the kind of person who feels everyone else's pain, so she felt her best friend's pain of seeing her with someone else, and then felt her boyfriend's pain of her breaking up with him, along with of course all of the pain and stress and confusion she was feeling. It broke her and she fell into a pretty deep depression and began to self harm in more ways than one. I was actually the one on the phone with her when it first all crashed down around her, but it was over Christmas break and I was in Florida while she was in Connecticut. This spacial distance between us at the time sparked my feeling of helplessness, which didn't fade when I got back from vacation and was able to see her. It tore apart our tight-knit friend group to see her going through such a mess, and I was the closest one to her, making it especially hard on me.
A huge part of this experience with Hana was the fact that I lost the rest of my friend group along the way. The stress was too much for us to bear and still manage to get along with each other, and I regret letting distance grow between us more than anything else I did in high school; however, losing my core group of friends taught me which friends are really here for the long haul, and also taught me about the other friend options that existed outside of that group. Additionally, I gained a good amount of independence along the way.
I'm the kind of person who needs to know that I can help the people I care about and get them through whatever they're dealing with, because I need to show every ounce of affection I have and acting to help a person is the best way to do so. But I couldn't help Hana; she could only help herself and this was something I didn't realize at the time and that I wish so much that I could have. My third quarter grades dropped through the floor and I wasn't sleeping or eating because I was sick with worry for Hana and frustrated beyond belief that I couldn't get her to stop and feel better. It wasn't until my parents dragged my nearly lifeless self to a therapist that I came upon the idea that sometimes people can't be saved, and that it's never worth losing oneself to attempt to save another. This was a huge academic turning point after I got my psychological side under control as well. I really started to crack down on myself about schoolwork because I know my potential and it hurts nobody but myself not to live up to it.
I learned through my experience with Hana that while helping others and caring strongly for those around me is a crucial part of life and empathy, I need to spend much of my time on myself. I came to love myself and care for myself more than anyone else, and was thankfully able to balance this and not become selfish. I did have to tell Hana that she needed to see a therapist and that I couldn't be everything for her because it was basically ruining my life at the moment to try to fix her. Unfortunately, she took this very personally and our friendship hasn't ever been the same since. Although I regret putting distance between us, I was able to find myself within the rubble of the middle of my junior year and come out strong, confident, and stable entirely on my own. This sense of power and strength has helped me remain levelheaded and balanced in every friendship, relationship, and new experience I've been involved in since, and I consider it the turning point that converted me from a young high school girl to a well-rounded and tough young woman.
My junior year of high school was a huge transitional time for me. I had to figure out who I was, figure out who I wanted to be, and figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Because all of my friends were doing the same alongside me, it was a time during which we all went through many struggles both on our own and with each other. My best friend at the time, Hana, had a particularly rough patch when she broke up with her boyfriend because she realized she was in love with her best friend. Hana is the kind of person who feels everyone else's pain, so she felt her best friend's pain of seeing her with someone else, and then felt her boyfriend's pain of her breaking up with him, along with of course all of the pain and stress and confusion she was feeling. It broke her and she fell into a pretty deep depression and began to self harm in more ways than one. I was actually the one on the phone with her when it first all crashed down around her, but it was over Christmas break and I was in Florida while she was in Connecticut. This spacial distance between us at the time sparked my feeling of helplessness, which didn't fade when I got back from vacation and was able to see her. It tore apart our tight-knit friend group to see her going through such a mess, and I was the closest one to her, making it especially hard on me.
A huge part of this experience with Hana was the fact that I lost the rest of my friend group along the way. The stress was too much for us to bear and still manage to get along with each other, and I regret letting distance grow between us more than anything else I did in high school; however, losing my core group of friends taught me which friends are really here for the long haul, and also taught me about the other friend options that existed outside of that group. Additionally, I gained a good amount of independence along the way.
I'm the kind of person who needs to know that I can help the people I care about and get them through whatever they're dealing with, because I need to show every ounce of affection I have and acting to help a person is the best way to do so. But I couldn't help Hana; she could only help herself and this was something I didn't realize at the time and that I wish so much that I could have. My third quarter grades dropped through the floor and I wasn't sleeping or eating because I was sick with worry for Hana and frustrated beyond belief that I couldn't get her to stop and feel better. It wasn't until my parents dragged my nearly lifeless self to a therapist that I came upon the idea that sometimes people can't be saved, and that it's never worth losing oneself to attempt to save another. This was a huge academic turning point after I got my psychological side under control as well. I really started to crack down on myself about schoolwork because I know my potential and it hurts nobody but myself not to live up to it.
I learned through my experience with Hana that while helping others and caring strongly for those around me is a crucial part of life and empathy, I need to spend much of my time on myself. I came to love myself and care for myself more than anyone else, and was thankfully able to balance this and not become selfish. I did have to tell Hana that she needed to see a therapist and that I couldn't be everything for her because it was basically ruining my life at the moment to try to fix her. Unfortunately, she took this very personally and our friendship hasn't ever been the same since. Although I regret putting distance between us, I was able to find myself within the rubble of the middle of my junior year and come out strong, confident, and stable entirely on my own. This sense of power and strength has helped me remain levelheaded and balanced in every friendship, relationship, and new experience I've been involved in since, and I consider it the turning point that converted me from a young high school girl to a well-rounded and tough young woman.